This week in "Who's Burning Like a Tire Fire in Hell"...

Jerry Falwell is d-e-d dead. I'd like to thank God for making this possible, but props to Satan, too, because he'll be putting up with that son of a bitch for the next eternity or so.

To quote the Associated Press, I'm to understand that a "history of heart challenges" includes being a fat bastard.

Edit:
Expect a parody of the report within the day. I believe it was Worf who said, "Today is a good day for Jerry Falwell to die."

You have much to teach us.


Mr. Falwell as seen just prior to consuming an entire turkey in under five minutes.

It's Mother's Day

If you haven't at least called your mother to say you love her, Woodrow Wilson hates you.

Me? I have a Jewish mother, so I've been at home since Friday. That's right, I'm better than all of you. Choke on that, Internet.

So yes, happy Mother's Day.


Woodrow Wilson as seen shortly after hearing his "momma so fat she block out the Sun" and shortly before curb-stomping some jive turkeys.

Something you don't want as the last thing you watch before sleeping...

Cinco de Mayo

Is it wrong to celebrate a Mexican holiday with a German beer? Meh, doesn't matter.

On a less-important point, this almost amuses me. Now God knows her narrow ass will ever spend a day in jail, but I still like the mental image of a scared, makeup-free Hilton, clutching her bundle of linens, being led through the block as muscular women are shouting out hoots and cat-calls. Though she's not going to one of those rough, lesbian, women's prisons that totally isn't some kind of sick, rough lesbian sex fantasy of mine, the mental image still makes me grin.

Can you tell I don't like her?


P.S.
If you happen two be two female Asian nurses with the badonkadonk, contact me at...

This is my sexual fetish

Quite possibly the best concept for a website ever. Even if it isn't, it kicks the shit out of mine.