Continuation

It's totally our business to be building missile defense platforms in other countries. Russia wants to defend itself against the growing radical threat that is Iran, a threat that our country acknowledges, and we say, "Oh no sir, you may not! We'll haul ass into other countries and start all kinds of shit for terrorists who attack us, but it'll be a balmy day in Moscow when you Vodka-chugging assholes do anything prevent terrorists states from attacking you."

Obviously, there is indeed a problem with allowing anyone to build up a nuclear "defense" against anyone, because by God, that's just overkill in the most literal sense possible. Plus, if you can't beat the shit out of some pissant sand-hole led by a militant whackjob with conventional weapons, you just aren't trying hard enough.

On top of that, there's such a thing as Mutually-Assured Destruction. Now, everyone who's not a complete retard will know that Iran cannot possibly bomb all of Russia without nukes (heh...), but Russia? I'm pretty sure they could bomb it to glass with the Mighty Ducks (Disney ones) of their bombs. Remember how that team was all fat kids, losers, and nerds? That's right. Russia's loser bombs could still kick the living Hell out of Iran. A hot plate of MAD (read, "You bomb us, you'll be converted into a slightly-charred skeleton") may well be what it takes for the Iranian people to stand up against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's stupid hat.

That's right, it's a stupid hat.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, ALICE, I'M IN AMERICA, CAN'T CHOP MY HEAD OFF HERE.

Also, your Arthur Fonzarelli impersonation sucks.




Aaay!

Today's Post Brought to You by the Letter E

As in Evil.

Now, he may be evil, but damnit, I like him. In fact, I love Vladimir Putin. As long a he doesn't go crazy and decide to blow us up or really any members of the potentially good parts of society (read, "anyone who doesn't stone women to death for showing more than the two square inches of skin immediately surrounding the eyes"), he's doing a damn fine job. The potential for regional influence for resolving the Islamic issue of Russia is unmatched by any other nation. Frankly, I don't think any nation with a reason to do anything has the ability and the resolve. We're too busy caring about... I dunno... America-stuff.

Also, try to ignore any potentially off-colour jokes about the Jerusalem Post's internet edition being filled with scads of adverts. Anti-Semetism is wrong. Funny. But wrong.

As for Putin's move to create a new Mother Russia and potentially end their experiment with total democracy? I rather support it. Hey, Russia loves Vladimir Putin, and he loves Russia. I know it's something that Americans have a hard time with understanding (like math, but with vodka) sometimes, but there can be systems other than representative democracy that work, depending on the people who live under that system. It's one of those "whatever tickles your pickle" things. As I not-so-subtly hinted to above, as long as you're not going around and blowing people up all willy-nilly, hey, have fun with your fascism, I hope it works out for you.

This idea that we, as a country, cannot and will not cooperate with nations that do not march in lock step with our particular governmental habit of democracy is sort of ironic, given the way in which that idea itself removes freedom from nations who would very much like to associate with us. Let's be really honest, Russia has been around for... ever, and America sort of stopped being a punkass rebel state "for real" in 1812, so we're swinging our just-post-pubescent balls around mightily firmly for someone who just got the right to use the big boy public showers.

What can be gleaned from that? Freedom is a wonderful thing, but only if it's the right kind of freedom that's spelled with a capital F, because that's the good kind of Freedom that means a politician who doesn't wear a ninety-nine cent MOTHERFUCKING LAPEL PEN ON HIS GODDAMN SUIT IS WORSE THAN A NAZI AND IS A NEWS STORY THAT REQUIRES CONSTANT FUCKING COVERAGE ON ALL OF THE MAJOUR NEWS SOURCES, JESUS CHRIST IN A HANDBAG, HOW STUPID ARE WE?

Oh, and apparently planting flags at the bottom of the ocean isn't a hollow gesture.

I need to lie down now...